Carol Scudder

Open To Stuff....

Crank call .... #LoveWins #BigotsLose #MyMarriageIsSafe !!

Peter just called me - he's out on tour so, you know, hasn't been home much lately. Then I nearly fainted, because he yelled into the phone. "I want a divorce!" "What??" I asked him why, and he said - "Because Gay People are getting Married - DUH !!!! That makes our marriage invalid!!!" -- but something about the call was funny. So I said, "... wait a minute ... you don't sound like Peter ... who is this??" -- Then I figured it out. It was Rush Limbaugh - Donald Trump ... and Sarah Palin. They sounded drunk, and were giggling and shushing each other. Then one of them - Limbaugh, I'm pretty sure, started to cry. He mumbled through tears "I have feelings for Antonin Scalia. I really love him! He has such beautiful eyes ..." At least I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear.  Then Sarah punched him in the arm and said "Shut Up fatty fathead! She's gonna know we're fakin'!" I recognized her voice of course. Then Trump made some kind of growling/fart noise, and I heard his hair moving (his hair is never really still - it's always slightly moving, like seaweed) so - I knew I was right. "Hey Sarah! Congratulations on your upcoming grand-baby!" I said, "You must be so exc... " But she hung up before I could finish. OH well. I'm glad Peter isn't divorcing me because of marriage equality. 
And - I hope Bristol Palin won't have trouble keeping up with her busy "Abstinence Only" speeches schedule because of this new baby. I'm sure it'll be adorable! - (If it's a girl ... they're going to name her Thunk. Pogg if it's a boy. Thunk-Pogg if it's gender neutral or any other variant. )